Gotta Love those Doctors

Seems like it has become an every six month crises now, and a trip to the ER, where to my surprise, after hundreds of dollars worth of tests,the ER doctor makes the pronouncement that my lungs are in very bad shape, and that my right lung does not move air. No kidding Sherlock, that is what I told you when I first came in. They try their best to tell me that I should stay for a few days, and enjoy their fine cuisine and room service. I tell them that I am going home. They smile at me like I am a two year old, and then they turn to my wife with that look that says" Tell him he has to stay". However, my wife knows better than that. For you see, I tell her even before we go that I will go because she wants me to, but we are not staying this time. I have already stayed at that place for 21 days in the last year and a half.

It is then that they turn to subtle and unsubtle threats.There is nothing that a person who has my disease fears more than the possibility of intubation. The very thought sends fear racing down my back like a flooding spring river. So, they know that, and use it like a priest or minister or parent telling their kids, 'you had better be good, or you are going to hell.' The doctor looks right at me at this point, and believe me, this happens every time, and says Well, if you don't get better, I will have to stick a tube down your throat, and you won't like that at all."


Well, buddy no one is going to intubate me without my permission or my wife's permission.
The next time one of the ER doctors says that, I am going to say. " if you ever say that again, I am going to stick a tube up your pompous A$$, and believe me, I know that you are not going to like that.