I Wonder if the Cash for Clunkers Applies to Humans?

OK,OK, I know that the program ended a long time ago. I was just sitting here thinking how much the human body and the automobile have in common. Yesterday, I received a phone call from my doctor's nurse telling me that the latest test results were back from the bone scan that I had done last Thursday. I have to take a lot of steroids to keep breathing, and one of the biggest long term side effects of these monsters is loss of bone mass.
I was quite sure that would not apply to me, so I was not too worried about the scan.

Whoops, I was wrong. The nurse told me" you don't have osteoporosis ,YET, but you do have bone mass loss.Doctor wants you to start taking 500 mg of calcium 3 times a day, and 1000 mg of vitamin D every a day."
Well, it looks like there will be more fun as a I get older.Now, not only will I not have lungs, I won't have bones,at least that ones that don't break easily. Oh well, maybe I can get some cash for these clunker parts.

Let's see, eyes are like headlights, so maybe I can get a few ---no, wait a minute, I have worn corrective lenses of one type or another since I was in third grade.  The human brain is like the computer in a car, right?
Two months ago, the computer in my Buick decided that I was trying to steal my own car, and locked the engine so that it would not start. Well, I had to get  a new computer for the car before it was all said and done.So, maybe, I could get a few buck for my human brain. No,wait a minute, the C drive in my brain is about out of memory, and I do seem to be running a little slower lately,so I doubt that it is worth much. To top it off,  did have that virus during Thanksgiving, so, bad idea.

Next, a car has an exhaust system. Humans have an exhaust system. Hm, maybe I could get a few bucks for mine. Never mind that one, too. Mines seems to not work as well unless I eat a lot of bran. I probably could not get anything for it, either.

Wait a minute, wait a minute, a car has tires, correct? Well, I have two feet. Feet are sort of like tires. Oh, never mind, I don't have much tread left  on my feet, either. They also seem to be getting a little more flat as the year go by.


Actually, I can't think of much that I could sell . My heart, like the fuel injector in a car, is in really good shape, according to the tests that they did on it last April.

But, if I sell my heart, that means, well, that means, -------


Too bad that humans don't have rear view mirrors. I am really good at seeing what is behind me.