Walking the streets of Wallace since I returned home in 2007, I have been both saddened and amused by the numerous storefronts advertising their wares as "antiques". The number of antiques shops is rivaling the number of bars that Wallace had in the old days. You could bar hop all night in Wallace, and still never get to all of them. Now, it's "antique shops". As I blogged about once before, even the old Cornell-Ward Funeral Home is now known as "Parlor Antiques". I have no idea what kind of antiques they sell, nor am I sure that I want to know. I find it repulsive and disrespectful.
OK, back to the subject of this blog. Just what is an antique? I used to think that antiques were something very special, something very valuable and rare, like a Stradivarius violin or Rembrandt painting. Boy, was I ever wrong ! Nope, Evidently, an antique is anything that is sitting in the attic or garage that is rusty, scarred, and of no use to anyone. I have also been told that an antique is something fifty years old or older. OK, now I get it.
All of us baby boomers are now officially antiques. Wow, that means that I must be an antique, as is everyone else that I went to school with. So by my own definition, I am rusty( yep, my knees creak everytime I stand up. WD 40 does not seem to work anymore). Scarred? Oh yea, all over, and of no use to anyone, well, I will leave that one up to others to judge. So, I wonder how much I am worth on the antique market. Think I will go up to Wallace today and walk in to one of the bars, or I mean antique shops, and get a quote on me. I suppose I might get arrested of I ask a female employee how much she would pay for me.