Cash For Crappers

Today, the Obama Administration announced in a news conference a new program to help stimulate the economy, promote the "green" movement, and at the same time enable the public to get rid of their old crappers.

Obama said" there has been a large downturn in the sales of new crappers since the recession began, and the crapper folks are being flushed down the toilet in this downturn. We feel that crapper suppliers and makers are a vital link to the future of America and the international market place.We are please to announce that starting today, the Federal Government will begin offering cash for your old crapper. Just bring in your old crapper to any crapper retailer and get an instant rebate of $10.00 towards the purchase of a new one.

We feel that this program will eliminate waste and at the same time time promote more sanitary health choices, and will aide in keeping the economy from further plunging in to a deeper cesspool of financial muck."



Environmentalists quickly applauded the program adding that the new crappers would dump directly into a national cesspool, which would be paid for by adding more debt to the taxpayers who are already in the tank, but all would benefit because the accumulated waste would be used to fertilize the fields, and would help Congress by adding more manure to their words. Overall, it would be great for the crapper retailers, makers, the environment, and other wasteful policies.