Geesh, what is all of the hullabaloo about balancing the budget? For Pete's sake, it is so simple that Homer Simpson could do it! Here is the Cedar Street Kid's simple way to balance the budget, gleamed from my own personal experiences.
Let's say that I have a moderate income, average house payments, car payment, grocery bill, taxes, and on and on. No problem. But, today I pass a jewelry store and see a ring that I "must" have. And to my delight, the sign in the window says" easy credit terms, no payments for 6 months" Wow, my kind of deal. With the smug look of someone who knows that they can pull of the deal, I enter the store, and say"wrap it up, bub" I don't really need to look at the paper work, because, after all, the first payment is not due for 6 months.
I go to pick up the mail, and another miracle is in the box. Yes, sir, I am special because in the envelope addressed to me is the confirmation that I have arrived. For I have been pre-approved for a 10,000 credit card, no questions asked. Wow, in my mind I incorrectly observe that I have ten grand to spend anyway I like. Thanks, First National Bank for the money. Not to worry, low interest rate for 6 months, and they were even nice to send me a check all made out for eight grand. All that I have to do is cash it, and it is all mine. Can you say Hawaii vacation? Visions of beaches now dance through my head. Simple, they only want low monthly payments. Not a problem.I can still afford the payments, and it is still five months before the jewelry store payments come due. Not a problem. I have it under control.
After getting back from vacation where I have spent the entire "gift" of eight grand from First National, and maybe having dropped another 2 grand on misc. expenses over there, I have used up my ten grand limit. Not a problem, for there in the mail is another golden opportunity, for here is a Second National Bank offer in the box. Wow, another ten grand gift awaits me. I can start all over, cash their generous five grand check, and go to Vegas. Not a problem. And, i still have 4 months before the jewelry store bill comes due. Not a problem.
I go to the Post Office, and there is my first statement from First National Bank. Hm, guess they wanted their money back after all. Oh well, how much of a payment could it be. I rip open the statement, and my eyes bug out. Wait, what's this? $35.00 over the limit fee, and a 29.99percent interest rate on the eight grand check! I thought that they had said a low interest rate. But there, o the bottom of the statement, there is a tiny, almost unreadable sentence about the interest rate being higher on cash loans. Oh well, no problem. I will use the Second National Bank card check to help pay the First National Bank card. Not a problem.
Well, after the Third National Bank and Fourth National Bank cards miraculously arrive just in time, I am once again on a roll.And I have learned how to balance.
It is so easy. You simply use Second National to pay First National, and Third National to pay Second National, and Fourth National to pay Third National. Now, when Fourth National is due, you go to your friendly Money Tree Store, and borrow against your paycheck. Easy way to go, and the interest rate is only 500 percent. So you ge t payday loan to pay Fourth National, to pay Third National to pay Second National, to pay First National. Not a problem.Easy as counting to one.
So you see, you too can balance your budget easily. I think that I will send my method ot Congress to help balance the National budget. Whoops, wait a minute, they are already using that method, and the President says to us "Not A Problem".