Wednesday, January 2, 2013

Bowl Me Over

It is Bowl Season again, and we are once again buried by an avalanche of meaningless games. When I was growing up, the collage bowl season actually meant something, meaning only the very best teams were invited. Now, if you have six wins, you are bowl eligible. There are currently 35 bowl games in Division 1 A (Yes, I still use the old terminology). That means, if my math is correct, that 70 teams play in bowl games now. 70!Wow.There are only 120 Division 1-A teams. Again if my calculations are correct, the teams not invited to a bowl game must be really, really bad. (Think Idaho Vandals).

Not only are there way too many bowl games, the names are getting more and more ridiculous. For instance, there is the " Famous Idaho Potato Bowl". Really. I can just see some kid in Podunk Texas beating his body and brains out in high school football so that someday he can play in the "Famous Idaho Potato Bowl."

Since the trend is towards more and not less bowls, I give up and propose the following new bowls.

(  For goodness sake, at least change the name of Idaho Famous Potato Bowl to " The Idaho Instant Mashed Potato and Gravy Bowl" Now, that makes much more sense.)

1.  'The Outsourced China Bowl" That is one that millions of Americans can relate to.

2 ."The Haagen-Dazs Ice Cream Bowl"

3 " The Campbell's Soup Bowl"

4." The Spaghetti Factory's Pasta Bowl"

5 "The Hidden Valley Ranch Salad Bowl"

6 "The Nalley's Chile Bowl"

7 "Kellogg's Cereal Bowl"

8. "Shady Rest's Nursing Home Prune Bowl"

9. " Kibble's Chow Bowl"

These new nine bowls will ensure that 18 more teams go to bowl games, making a total of 88 out of 120 teams.

The few team left out will receive lottery bids to the famous" Tidy's Toilet Bowl", with the invitation reading -
'BYOB"-bring your own brushes".

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