Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Losing Contact

It is always bad to lose contact, and it is a shame to do so. I am not, however, talking about losing contact with another person, but, well, let me go back in time a bit. It was my sophomore year at old Wallace High School, and the setting was in Mr. Land's geometry class. Let me tell you a little bit about Mr. Land.

Hm, how can I describe him? Well, picture the Pillsbury Dough Boy,and you can get the basic shape. After all, this was a geometry class! We were taught to be aware of curves and angles. OK, you get the basic idea. Now picture the Dough Boy with a leathery face and slightly blood shot eyes from maybe having a drink or two or three everyday, and picture the Dough Boy wearing cowboy boots, and well, there you go. Meet Mr. Land.

I am not going to say that his class was boring, but it was a little hard to pay attention.The class was the first class after lunch, and the mood was , shall we say, a little relaxed. The classroom was on the first floor, and the large windows let the the sun fall directly on the students in the Spring and Fall, and in the cold winter, the old hissing radiator put out a heat that would rock a colic baby to sleep. It was so boring that the guy who sat behind me, Craig P, felt it necessary to sometimes entertain himself. One day in Feb. the sun was steaming through the windows, and Craig decided to do an experiment. He held his geometry book up in the direct streaming sun light, and sure enough, his experiment worked. The book started smoking. Mr. Land looked up and and said,"Craig, what are you doing?", and Craig answered just as calmly as you please," I am setting my book on fire, Mr. Land."

OK, so now you get the picture of the dynamics of Mr. Land's classroom. On this one particular winter day, and near the end of class time,the guy who sat next to me must have been getting a little bit bored, too. This guy wore the old hard contact lenses, which as we know were subject to breaking. Well, this particular student had an old broken contact lens with him, and deciding to ad a little excitement to the day, he placed the old contact lens on the floor, and the proceeded to get down on the floor and feigned looking for the lens. Mr. Land asked him what he was doing, and the student told him that he had lost one of his contacts. Mr. Land, all five foot five inches and three pounds started looking, too. But, the contact was no where to be found. As Mr. Land neared the floor where the broken contact had been placed, the student all of a sudden "found" it. He held it up, and faking perfect consternation said," you stepped on my contact and broke it Mr. Land." Poor old Mr. Land was horrified, After all, teachers made very little money in those days, and contacts were much more expensive then they are now. After letting Mr. Land sweat and fret for about five minutes, those of us who were close enough to know the gag broke in to rolling on the floor type laughter. The student then told Mr. Land the whole story.

I am not going to release the name of that mischievous student. and I have always wondered if he turned out at all, or if he remained a juvenile delinquent.You never know how someone is going to turn out. Go figure!


Silver Valley Girl said...

Your story reminded me of a time in my Algebra class (what is it with Math classes?) my freshmen year at Kellogg Junior High when one of my classmates made a racetrack on the back of his notebook, and had maggot races during class. Then he would flick the maggots at people in the class. No wonder Algebra wasn't my strongest subject!!

Boy, that kid in your class, who knows what could have happened to him? Who knows what side of the law he is on these days?? HA! HA!

Cedar Street Kid said...

Hi SVG-I am sure that student was just doing a scientific experiement.
I don't know how the kid with the contact turned out, but I have heard rumors.

Anonymous said...

I plead the 5th.

MarmiteToasty said...

MMmmmmmmm thinking he is familiar to all of us lol.....


Cedar Street Kid said...

MT, remember, I did not name any names.LOL

inlandempiregirl said...

This reminds me of a group of students in Mrs. Fee's Spanish class that played a trick because she hated anything to do with eyes. One student rolled a cherry tomato down the aisle yelling that his glass eye fell out. As she shrieked he squashed it right in front of her.

Great story... go figure!!