Double talk.

Yes, my constipated blogging mind has finally cleared some. If I am stuck on medical terms for awhile, please forgive me, but the last month has not been pretty. It has been one medical crises after another in my family.However, I have emerged much more educated in the field of medicine, and in medication in particular.

About a month ago, my mother suffered her second stroke in a year, and this time required a stint in a nursing home. My wife threw a scare in us when her doctor found a mass in her breast, and off we went to a cancer clinic in CDA for testing, ultrasound, and other female testing.All of this right in the middle of my Mother's crises. You see, this was really bad timing because my wife is my mother's caregiver, and is paid by an agency to be so.Now on top of all of this there was lots of legal papers to be taken care of concerning my parent's finances. Splitting of assets, new bank accounts, power of attorney, and on and on. So, my blogging mind was completely constipated and backed way up.

On the positive side, we did get some good news, maybe. My Wife's tests were negative. I actually got to witness the ultra-sound, and it was very fascinating to say the least. However, there is a certain irony about the testing that I will get to later.

My mother is home from the nursing home after a sturggle with certain family memebers about what was best for her. Aren't families wonderful sometimes? She is home after my insistence that she be brought home, and is doing very well through therapy, nursing visits, and my wife's around the clock attention. So all is quiet for the moment.

Yesterday, I picked up some medication for my mother, and wanting to be educated in her care, read the information printed out by the pharmacy. Interesting reading . Everyone should read the info on their medicine bottles.

The first thing is said was to take "one tablet, twice daily" Hm, here I became intellectually challenged. How on earth does one take the same tablet twice in on day? Well, I would figure that out later, I thought, so I read on."To be taken orally only" Whew, for a minute there I thought that we were going to have to stick it up her ass! Sure glad they clarified that one for me. This was given because the stroke makes her think that she has to urinate constantly, so the medication was supposed to slow down that process. Good, right? No, one of the side effects is that it can cause frequent urination! What! Isn't that suppose to be what this little jewel is supposed to prevent? Now, I am totally confused.

So, in order to further educate myself, I read all of the literature on the meds that I have been taking for years to keep my lungs breathing. One of the side effects is that is can lead to bronchial spasms, which can lead to death. I read on. Can cause pneumonia. Hm, so I take this so that I can breathe, but it might collapse my lungs and give me pneumonia. What the heck?

Back to my wife, her doctor called the other day, and said that she was not satisfied with the test results. No mind you, this same doctor was the one who sent her to the specialists in CDA to get the tests done. You would think that she would have been happy about the tests being negative, but no, she wants my wife to see a surgeon, " just to make sure". So, in other words, doctors don't believe their own testing. Wow, what a cluster ----!

However, now I know what certain things mean. For instance I know what they say that Doctor's " practice medicine" well, I wish they would get done practicing and start doing it for real.

Well, all of this writing has given me a headache, so I think that I will take a pill. Whoops, wait a minute, the side effect of this pill says it can cause bleeding, No problem I have a pill that will take care of that. Wait a minute, the pill to stop bleeding says it may cause circulation problems. No problem, I have a pill for that. No, wait a minute, the pill to help the circulation problem can cause liver damage. No problem, I have a pill that will help my liver. No wait a minute, that pill can cause kidney damage. Oh well I have a pill that will take care of that. No wait a minute, that pill can cause heart failure, blindness, constipation, erectile dysfunction, sore throat, and cancer of the body. Oh well, I have pills for all of that, too. On second thought, maybe I should just call the funeral home now and save taking all of those pills. It would be cheaper in the long run.